


You Can't Be Serious - a writing prompt

by chaosfay



Series: Alistair and Jasmine [13]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Drunken Confessions, Drunkenness, Teasing, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-16
Updated: 2015-01-16
Packaged: 2018-03-07 18:45:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3179156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaosfay/pseuds/chaosfay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A game of Truth or Dare with wine, and unexpected but hilarious results.  Poor Alistair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Can't Be Serious - a writing prompt

**Author's Note:**

> I felt it was time to write something rather hilarious, and probable. Filling in the spaces provided by Bioware and keeping things canon is always fun. I hope you enjoy this!

“Wait, are you serious?”  Alistair was entirely too surprised to fathom what Zevran had suggested.  
  
Alistair had made the horrible choice of playing the game of Truth or Dare with the majority of his traveling companion.  Jasmine, Leliana, Wynne, Zevran, and Oghren.  Sten, Shale, and the mabari remained on watch, ignoring the antics of the antics of the others.  Morrigan was likely sleeping, wanting little to do with them beyond what was necessary.  
  
He didn’t know how he got suckered into this.  Too much wine, he reckoned.  Poor Jasmine had no idea what the game even was, but he had played it only twice when with the Wardens before everything went sideways.  Now here she was, completely sober, and witness to the depravity of her traveling companions.  
  
“You chose truth, now answer the question.”  Wynne took a sip of her wine, entirely unaffected by the alcohol.  
  
Jasmine moaned in embarrassment, looking like she wanted to do nothing more than run away and disappear.  “I have nothing to compare him to,” she barely mumbled out.  
  
“Is it longer than your hand?” Zevran asked, a grin on his face.    
  
Meanwhile Alistair just stared on, not knowing how he could help, or if the answer would only embarrass him further.  They had seen her drawing back at an inn, a picture of him completely naked.  Now they wanted the details about…his part.  
  
“Yes.”  Jasmine’s blush couldn’t get any redder.  
  
“How much longer?  Come on, show us your hand.”  Leliana encouraged, looking too interested in the information.  
  
Jasmine held up her hand, a finger from her other a few inches above it.  There were several gasps, and Oghren was laughing so hard he fell backwards.  
  
“Andraste’s tits, how do you fit insider her?” Zevran turned on Alistair, eyes wide.  
  
“That can’t be accurate.  There’s no way.”  Leliana had nothing but shock on her face.  
  
Wynne had unceremoniously spat out her wine, looking at Jasmine and then Alistair, and back again.  “It’s no wonder the two of you are so loud.  Alistair must have excellent skill to make it even possible to fit.”  
  
Alistair was blushing so badly his ears hurt.  He could have sworn he was on fire.  “I listened to Leliana and Zevran,” he mumbled before burying his face in his hands.  
  
“The girth.  You have to tell us the girth.  Make a circle with your fingers.”  Leliana was far too excited about this information.  
  
Oghren was sitting up again, and seeing that Jasmine’s fingers barely touched her thumb set him back to laughing.  “Stone help me, that would leave anyone walking funny.”  
  
“Alistair, you lucky son-of-a-bitch, I demand to see this for myself.  Now.”  Zevran made to pull Alistair up, but quickly found himself tossed onto the ground with one shove from Alistair.  “I think I’ve had too much to drink.”  
  
“No, you’re just the saddest rogue I’ve ever encountered.”  Leliana barely managed to suppress her giggles.  “Jasmine, you had best thank the Maker Alistair listed to the two of us-”  
  
“No, the three of us.  You weren’t the only one to speak to him.”  Wynne barely managed to say, trying her best to keep from laughing and failing miserably.  
  
“Can we move onto someone else now?  I think my turn is over.”  Jasmine looked near to crying.  
  
“Yes, please!” Alistair exclaimed, his hands buried in his hands.  
  
“Alright, Alistair, you ask now.”  Wynne said, eyes peering over her cup as she took another sip.  
  
Looking directly at Zevran, “how many venereal diseases have you had?”  
  
Now everyone was laughing except Zevran.  
  



End file.
